My New Mama!

Today is so perfectly awesome! I'm so thankful for everything He's been giving to me. It feels like time flies so fast. On the past two weeks, I was very busy studying so hard for my college exams. Studying in the very early morning was my routines. I just had no enough time if I didn't do that. You might not able to feel how tiring it was, but I feel so content afterwards that I can pass it pretty well.

Well, why did I say today is an awesome day? Hehehe I'm honestly speechless, but I need to write this kind of perfect feeling. Pardon my bad diction then! My man's mom just bought me a pair of beautiful shoes. She intends to give me that shoes so that I can wear it when I have to teach at a school.

This morning, when I had my own show in my radio station, she called and asked me about the size of my shoes. I was surprised that she told me she wanted to buy me a pair of shoes. You know, I am easily touched by such a simple thing! I almost cried, but I didn't think it's appropriate to cry at that time. Hehe. Then I texted my man directly, telling him about that. He just laughed happily. I actually felt a bit uncomfortable with what my man's mom wanted to do, but I had no power to stop what she would do of course :p hahaha

This afternoon I was at my office accomplishing some work. I had a call again and it was from my man's mom again, telling me she had been in front of my office bringing the shoes she just bought. She gave it to me and got home with my man's dad. After being home, she texted me asking how was the shoes? Did they fit me or not? Was I happy or not? Hmm... if only I could tell her how happy I was be by the text I sent accordingly. I just could tell her that I love the shoes so much & thanked her. She also gave me some advice that I have to be punctual in accomplishing my study & I must have a good time management skill! I was very happy knowing she loves and cares about me that much! I just love her a lot!

I compare the shoes as a present for myself for studying so hard lately. This is unbelievable how my man's mom could know what I need, really need. Not what I want. She has helped me to scrimp and save my money for other needs.

Oh my, from the very first time I met her, she had impressed me by the way she treated me! She loves me as if I am her own daughter. As the time goes by, I know so much better that she has been loving, knowing, understanding, and caring about me even more than my own parents. I'm obviously so lucky!

All right, I want to do my best for her. At least I will let her know that I'm so serious about my study as much as her concern about my study as well. I'm happy to have a new mama like her. I love her so much!

Selamat Hari Guru, Pacarku :')

Tanggal 25 November kemaren adalah peringatan hari guru. Dulu sih gak gitu ngaruh ya, paling cuma inget sama guru-guru spesial semasa saya sekolah. Cuman sekarang, berhubung pacar sendiri sudah berprofesi sebagai guru, jadi ada yang beda gitu. Lebih greng! (eh?)

Saya sangat suka berdiskusi & bercerita sama pacar. Kadang dia denger cerita saya tentang kuliah, kerja & kadang kita diskusi tentang berbagai hal yang ingin saya tau. Kalo pas giliran dia yang cerita, dia lebih suka cerita tentang kerjaan dibanding kuliah. Secara skripsinya masih magrok dan saya suka naek pitam kalo keinget itu. Mendidih dan meledak-ledak ujung-ujungnya. Hehehehe. Jadi wajar kalo dia lebih milih main aman dengan cerita tentang kerjaan.

Gak jarang pacar ngeluh soal kerjaannya. Tapi bukan karena dia capek ato kebanyakan kerjaan, atao bahkan soal gaji. Justru tentang mental para guru di sekolahnya yang seringkali gak manusiawi dan gak punya empati. Sebenernya, tanpa pacar bercerita panjang lebar, saya sudah bisa menilai dan menyimpulkan. Jadi pacar saya itu gak gampang. Saya pun mungkin gak bakal kuat.

Setau saya, jadi guru itu enak. Berangkat pagi jam 7 dan pulang paling pol jam 2. Setelah itu, pekerjaan-pekerjaan administratif lain bisa diselesaikan di rumah dengan santai. Tapi pacar saya kok ngoyo banget ya. Emang sih, pacar saya bukan PNS, tapi cuma guru honorer dengan gaji yang luar biasa minim. Wajar ya kalo gak bisa sesantai guru-guru yang udah PNS, tapi kok kerjaan yang dikasih menurut saya gak manusiawi.

Beberapa minggu yang lalu saya sempat marah-marah karena pacar hampir setiap hari pulang dari sekolah sehabis isya. Saya curiga dia cuma nongkrong sama temen-temen sesama honorer, maen PS, ketawa-ketiwi sambil ngerokok, pokoknya buang-buang waktu semata. Ternyata memang dia kerja. Mulai dari ngurusin ekskul dan lomba-lomba, kerjaan-kerjaan administratif, sampe latihan band buat lomba.

Hmmpphh.. Beberapa kali saya dengan hati-hati nanya ke pacar apa gak ada niatan buat keluar. Atas pertimbangan kuliah yang harus segera diselesaikan, saya rasa pacar lebih baik berhenti ngajar dulu dan fokus nyelesein skripsi. Tapi dia selalu menolak dan meyakinkan kalo skripsi akan selesai tepat waktu. Dia selalu bilang kalo diantara sekian banyak alasan buat keluar dari sekolahnya, ada satu alasan yang bikin dia pengen tetap bertahan; murid-muridnya. Ya, dia sayang sama murid-muridnya, yang biasa dia sebut sahabat-sahabatnya. Saya hampir nangis dengernya. Mungkin saya tidak akan pernah tau seperti apa rasanya, dan mungkin saya akan menganggap alasan pacar saya itu klise. Tapi saya tau dia gak bohong dan dia serius.

Dalam hati saya sangat senang dengan pilihan pacar saya. Bukan harta, bukan jabatan, bukan nama, tapi soal hati dan ketenangan yang dia dapet gak akan pernah tergantikan. Guru seharusnya seperti ini. Saya tau, pacar saya bukan guru yang sempurna, tapi saya juga tau kalo dia layak disebut sebagai pahlawan tanpa tanda jasa. Saya sangat mencintainya.

A Supporter in Vain

It's irritating to say that I feel so frustrated today. I don't like this; arriving home with a lot of tears rolling down on my cheeks. The word that exactly represents my feeling right now is: PATHETIC! Well, I must explode what I feel NOW!

Ever since 2010, life felt more colorful because I found the one that was always there to support me and to be supported by me all at once. Yea, he's my current man. He listened to every good suggestion I gave and he even changed some his bad habits. Of course, I was very happy for every great change. But, as the time goes by, he was accepted as a teacher in a very well-known elementary school in town. I was so proud for sure! And I thought that he really deserved that. Yet,, he turned to be a super busy boy.

To be honest, I feel that time flies so fast. Now, he's already on the 9th semester. You know, an undergraduate student should accomplish his/her study in four years. But what happen with my man? Too bad to say that I DON"T KNOW!!!!

As my concern so far, I've been supporting him wholeheartedly. It sometimes ended up in a fight though. He always says that he has loads of work to do at school. Okay, I admit that, but I think this is only a matter of longing. As long as he's willing, I believe that it can be accomplished so soon. Oh yea, and it's also a matter of life priority that depends only on himself. I don't wanna blame him, really. But, this one gets me into a bad feeling when everyone around me asks about my man's study. I feel so in vain, I feel I'm failed. Unfortunately, I can't also find how to support him appropriately, without getting him angry, without hurting his heart, without making him feel he's forced.

Well, I don't know the answer, but I don't wanna surrender! All I know is just, I have to pray to God, asking for his help. Yea, let's see what will happen!

Crying

What do you think about crying?
Do you think it shows insecurity, weakness or defeat?

Well, I don't think so..
For me, crying is healing..
I do feel that crying is the perfect expression of shouting my feeling..
Sometimes, I feel a thing that I can't verbally say..
Sometimes, I feel a thing that can't be represented by words at all..
Something, I feel a thing that is difficult to express..
When it comes to such a circumstance, all I always do is just.. crying..
It can also be about both sadness and happiness..

If somebody would like to kindly count how many times I've cried in my whole life,
I bet it must be more than the number of my strands of my hair..

Don't ever blame me just because I cry very often..
It doesn't always mean that I'm miserable..
It just means I have no clue about what the more perfect expression than crying is..

An Interesting Assignment

Today isn't my off day, but I just had lots of time to do some of my favorite things. I just watched three films that inspire me much. Once I'd done watching those films, I did my writing assignment. It must be submitted tomorrow. Well, I just like when it comes to writing assignments. It gives me a great way to say my thought in written forms. This week, I had to make a paragraph of my personal arguments about anything. Here is what I wrote for my assignment: 

Smoking is not Good

I just do not understand why people like smoking. Seriously, I do not really see that there is any advantage of doing such a thing. Well, some of them may argue that it shows they are mature. It might be true, but doing such a think means that the way they think is not mature though. I believe that there is nothing good about smoking. First, it is clearly a waste of money. Cigarettes are not cheap. Everybody must know it. Then, it is also dangerous for someone's health. Experts have proven that smoking causes lung cancer. It is even typed clearly all in capital on the pack of cigarettes. So, from my personal point of view, it does not make any sense at all to buy something pricey that is dangerous for your health. Not to mention, maturity is not something to do with smoking, it is about how we think sensibly about ourselves and our lives.

That's what I wrote. I'm waiting for other interesting assignments. I don't even care if I'm overwhelmed by all my assignments when all of them are interesting :D

English Debate Society

Woohoo! Today is perfectly a splendid day! This morning, my friends and I had a presentation about English Debate Society (EDS) in front of the third semester students. Don't know why I was so excited to do it. I had to talk a lot and persuade as many as possible students to join our society. One part that I like the most of the presentation is when I had to tell my own experience of being a member of EDS. It's just because I'm the real evidence that EDS is good for them. Well, this is what I told to them:

"I used to be so bad in English. I was even very shy to sing my thought out in front of the class although I'm actually such a critical student. Joining EDS was so scary at first that I met many people that were very fluent speaking English, I thought. I was not confident at all. Everytime they asked me to speak, all I did was only refusing. Yet, I don't know when it literally happened, but I magically turned to be gradually so much better in English. Moreover, I turned to be more confident to speak in front of the class. Well, I'm still nervous when I have to speak in English in front of many people now, but I'm also able to handle this feeling pretty well. Now, you can see that I can speak English even though I still make some mistakes. It really doesn't matter at all because in EDS we have so many friends that will gladly help us, evaluate our speaking skill, support each other, encourage mentally, and most importantly, we learn to speak in English together. EDS truly affects me a lot."

 That's what I said to them and that's what I honestly feel. My friend, Ali, even told them that by joining EDS, there will be so many advantages we get, including money $_$ hahaha... He took some of my experiences as the examples. I was asked to be the MC of Magelang Anniversary Celebration Party and I had to use English. He also said that I was also asked to be the moderator of a workshop held by U.S Embassy. And the guest was an American Independent Movie Director, Mustava Davis. 

Oh my, I was touched to know that they notice my achievements. Before having such a presentation, I don't think too deeply about EDS effects to me, but now, I frankly admit that it really affects me. Oh yea, EDS also affects me psychologically that I don't want to be worse in English than my friends. It makes me believe that I can speak English well through studying English harder. 

Okay, I promise I will maintain EDS like mad :D Being a part of it is such an honor for me. Hopefully, those who have decided to join us can also get advantages that I've got. Wish me had enough time to join it regularly! And people, please keep the inspiration going !!!!!! ;))))

I'm in Love

"When I'm loved by the boy that I love, it gives me the best feeling."

I'm in a good mood today. Starting the day by going to the office at 5 a.m and going back home at 6 a.m then I was having fun with my stuff on the internet. Just so you know, I love to browse through the internet and look for good articles. I'm obsessed to read as much as possible writings. That's the way how I learn English easily and interestingly.

After spending four hours in front of the computer, I decided to take a nap. But suddenly, my man came to my house. Of course, I can't (and actually won't ever) ignore him. Yesterday I didn't meet him at all, so I had been overwhelmed by the feeling that I really missed him. As usual, he never fails to comfort me with his jokes and his innocent face. How I love both !!!

Until I started to have a conversation about my school financial problem. It hasn't been solved yet and I'm depressed about that. I was out of control telling him what I was deeply feeling. He listened and stared at me. I know he didn't even miss a word at all. When it was over, he started to help me looking for a solution. He said that I'm too obsessed about money and it's not good for me. Okay, we do need money, of course. But when we are too obsessed, it will only drive us to a disappointment because this is not our duty to earn money. He meant that what humans have to do is just striving and praying for the best, that's all! He also said that I have to be positive in seeing something. He's been thinking that I've tended to be too negative and pessimistic. And I got to start to change that. He teaches me to be more positive and grateful.

Don't know why I feel like I'm in love with him again. He doesn't talk too much, but he knows when he should talk and what he should talk about. This is what I had not got from my ex-men, the ability to save me, comfort me, cherish me, and simply love me. He might be not very intelligent, but he's very much sincere and kindhearted. Ow yea, and he's the only boy that makes me change my mind about boy. Happiness doesn't always come from having a clever boy (as I've hoped to date a clever boy), but it's everywhere. Even it's hidden behind ugliness, stupidity, and imperfection.

Love xx :*

Mas Bowo :')

Mumpung punya waktu setengah jam sebelum berangkat kuliah lagi, saya mau nulis cerita tentang Mas Bowo. Bukan, bukan! Bukan pacar saya, pacar saya masih tetep Parjia :) Mas Bowo itu adalah office boy di tempat saya kerja. Emang sih orangnya gak ganteng, tapi saya terkagum-kagum sama sifatnya yang luar biasa ikhlas.

Pernah ngebayangin jadi seorang office boy? Dulu saya pernah sih, tapi sebatas ngebayangin baju yang saya pake kalo saya jadi office girl dan bayangin saya lagi nguras bak mandi dan nungging-nungging gosok WC. Tapi ternyata, abis ketemu sama Mas Bowo, saya bisa mikir hal lain tetang office boy.

Mungkin kerjaan jadi office boy itu kedengerannya remeh temeh, tapi justru ini adalah kerjaan yang sangat berat. Selain bersih-bersih kantor, tiap harinya Mas Bowo musti disuruh-suruh buat ngelakuin apapun. Misalnya buat nganterin surat ke klien, beliin makanan buat bos, nagih uang ke klien, dan banyak lagi. Repot dan padat. Bahkan, dia kadang disuruh-suruh sama bagian SSO (Sales Service Officer) buat ngelakuin hal-hal yang menurut saya guendheng! Misal, jemput si SSO di TK tempat anaknya sekolah, nganterin si SSO keriting bulu mata, bahkan nemenin di SSO lepas KB spiralnya -_- Ckck, kejamnya dunia! Apalagi dengan cara nyuruhnya yang sangat kelewatan dan menyakitkan, Mas Bowo tetep mau ngejalalin :'( Hebat sekali. Saya pasti uda kemas-kemas dan ngundurin diri kalo saya jadi Mas Bowo.

Saya ngerasa, salah satu sifat yang saya punya adalah keinginan buat gak pengen disuruh-suruh. Saya rasa semua manusia juga kayak gitu. Mana ada coba orang yang mau dikacungin, disuruh-suruh pake nada tinggi dan diksi yang sangat tak berbudaya dan tak santus?! Saya, jujur, OGAH!! Jadi bener kan, Mas Bowo itu hebat. Dia rela mengesampingkan sifat dasar (ego) nya buat gak disuruh-suruh cuma demi memuaskan orang lain. Mas Bowo rela ngelakuin apa yang orang lain pengen, padahal mungkin dia gak pengen ngelakuin hal itu. Padahal gak cuma satu dua kali saya denger si SSO ngata-ngatain Mas Bowo dibelakang dengan sebutan "kacung" :'( It sounds so heartbreaking :'( Pernah sesekali saya iseng tanya soal perasaan Mas Bowo selama jadi office boy, dan jawabannya dia bahagia. Biarpun saya tau dia gak 100% jujur. Tapi saya sangat menghargai rasa syukurnya dan penghargaan dia akan pentingnya sebuah pekerjaan.

Sejak itulah saya berniat sedikit meringankan beban Mas Bowo. Saya sama sekali gak pernah nyuruh-nyuruh dia, saya cuci sendiri piring, gelas, dan sendok sehabis saya pakai, saya bersihkan sendal biar gak mengotori lantai, dan beberapa hal kecil lain yang saya niatkan buat ngurangin bebannya Mas Bowo. Mungkin gak seberapa sih, tapi saya seneng bisa punya kesadaran dan empati tentang betapa beratnya jadi seorang Mas Bowo. Dan saya gak akan pernah meremehkan dia. Semoga semuanya juga kayak gitu.

Anyway, my boss just lent me a book. It's the autobiography of David Beckham. Nice to know that it uses English, so I can get so many more vocabularies!! I'm just so excited about this book. Gonna read it soon and I will write about it on my blog once I'm done reading. Bye !!! :*

Putting My Thought into It :)

Yay!!! I will proudly say that this week is actually assignments week. Well, last Sunday was my latest off day. Don't know if I'm lucky or not to spend that day doing my assignments. But, one of the assignments is truly interesting !!!!! I had to make an essay about anything. I love to write and to put my thought into it. So, this is for you guys to read :) My writing assignment! Thank you in advance :) Have a frigging great day !!!!

Teenagers Who are Working while Studying  are the Independent and Responsible Ones

Nowadays, education is considered important for everyone. I personally think that being a well-educated person will bring us to a mental satisfaction and make us respectable. There are also many people fighting for getting adequate education in their life.   

As a teenager, I must honestly say that I do anything for my education. Even though I do not come from a family that is financially comfortable, I can still go to university by working and earning money by myself to pay my school tuition. Doing both working and studying gives me such a satisfaction that I cannot scientifically explain how it really feels. Nevertheless, it makes me feel independent and responsible.

How can teenagers be independent by working and studying at the same time? Of course because they earn money by themselves and most of them use the money they get for paying their school tuition and all of the costs of living. Then, how can teenagers be responsible by doing  it? It is slightly crucial!

Many teenagers say that it is very difficult to work when we are still studying. Moreover, they say that those who do both will not be focused. They also argue that by doing both activities at the same time, they will not get maximum results of each thing that they do.

I am one of the teenagers who work and study at the same time for paying my tuition and I firmly disagree with the statements above. Okay, they might say those satements because they have so many choices about education, but what about those who have no choice? Well, indeed it is very difficult to go to office and campus everyday and have a very little time for taking a rest or even for doing the assignments at home, but it does not mean it is impossible to do that. As a saying goes “Nothing is Impossible in This Life”, I have already proven it is so possible! It maybe totally hard and tiring in the beginning but as the time goes by, it is very interesting yet advantageous for sure.

There are many advantages that I get from it. One of them is being a responsible teenager. Teenagers who work will know how it feels to earn money for living, so that they will know how to wisely use it as well. They will also learn managing their time well, be on time and make every minute in their life useful. It drives them to have a better time management skills than those who are only studying and have lots of leisure time. Surprisingly, it makes them get better grades because of their regular time of studying.  It shows that they are also responsible as a student without ignoring the role as an employee.

The need of education seems to be increasing today, but not all teenagers can fulfill it because of financial factors. In fact, there are so many ways to solve it. Working while studying can be a good alternative solution. If they want to study, they can do it. As long as one has great belief and passion in doing this, I do not think it will be impossible. They will gradually get many advantages vice versa. It will also absolutely nice to know that Indonesian teenagers are independent and responsible for their lives and their education.

Vice Versa

"Manisnya hidup akan terasa setelah lelah berjuang."

Saya beneran lupa siapa yang nulis quote itu, tapi saya selalu ingat pesan yang tersimpan di dalamya. Jelas saya sangat setuju dengan quote itu, tapi gak sedikit juga sih dari mereka yang tidak berjuang dan tampak lebih senang, hidupnya pun jauh lebih manis.

Akhir-akhir ini, saya emang lagi bener-bener dipenjara sama tugas kuliah yang tidak sewajar biasanya. Bisa dibilang gak ada mata kuliah yang gak ada tugasnya. Iya iya, saya rada lebay. Jadi pastinya dari 10 mata kuliah yang saya ambil, cuma 3 mata kuliah yang belom ngasih tugas sejauh ini. Sementara 7 mata kuliah lain, dari awal semseter 5 dimulai, tugas tak henti-hentinya bergentayangan -_-

Sungguh, saya ngerasa semester 5 ini akan sangat berat dan melelahkan. Baru juga 3 minggu berlalu, tapi banyak sekali hal yang udah saya alami. Akhir-akhir ini saya sering banget begadang buat nyelesein tugas yang deadline nya rata-rata cuma seminggu. Bener-bener. Gara-gara begadang, saya sering ngerasa puyeng banget di kepala, kayak dikemplang pake monitor komputer layar cembung. Saya juga harus sangat berhemat karena jadwal kuliah dan kerja yang terselip-selip satu sama lain. Kerja-kuliah-kerja-kuliah-pulang-kerja-pulang. Begitulah setiap hari. Karena ini, saya harus lebih sering berjalan dari tempat kerja ke kampus. Mmm... saya gak tau pasti jaraknya, tapi saya janji, suatu saat nanti, saya akan mengihitung berapa langkah kaki yang harus saya produksi (???) selama perjalanan dari tempat kerja menuju kantor *toyor*. Soal kebiasaan harus jalan, ada beberapa hal yang membuat saya sedih.

Pada dasarnya, saya sangat suka jalan kaki. Pertama karena hemat biaya, kedua karena jalan kaki itu rasanya nyenengin. Pas jalan kaki sendirian, hal yang paling sering saya lakuin adalah berpikir tentang pencapaian dan kekurangan saya sekarang ini. Saya juga suka (dengan PDnya) ngerasa kalo setiap langkah kaki yang saya tempuh itu adalah langkah kaki yang muaranya itu LONDON :) Silahkan tertawa, saya gak mau bahas panjang lebar soal ini. Belom saatnya, sebenarnya :)

Namun, yang saya gak suka dari jalan kaki, kadang, saya harus jalan dibawah terik matahari di siang bolong. Panasnyaaaa... ampun-ampunan. Korbannya, kulit saya sekarang hitam se-legam-legamnya dan kering bersisik. Sebanyak apapun lotion yang saya teplok-teplokin di kulit, efeknya hampir gak keliatan. Tragis! Sangat tragis! Beberapa waktu lalu juga ada temen yang bilang, "Pit, makin item aja nih." Demi dunia dan akherat sodara-sodara, ini menyakitkan luar dalem. Nancep sampe ke palung hati, dan saya drop parah.

Saya sempet pengen berargumen tetang apa yang harus saya lalui dan apa yang harus saya lakukan sama dia. Biar dia bisa mikir dulu sebelum ngeluarin kata-kata menyebalkan sepanjang masa itu. Hkh. Tapi saya males. Berkali-kali saya paham kalo orang tuh gak bakalan bener-bener ngerti gimana rasanya sebelum tuh orang bener-bener ngejalalin. Saya cuma senyum. Jelas lah, senyum yang sangat amat dipaksakan! Parahnya, akhir-akhir ini saya juga sering menipu diri sendiri dengan mempertontonkan segala sesuatu yang berlawanan dengan hati saya. Sesuatu yang berarti sebaliknya. Apapun yang orang katakan tentang saya, saya senyum, biarpun saya sakit hati. Saya dikatain kurus, saya dikatain gosong, saya dikatain tonggos, saya dikatain gak rapi, saya dikatain awut-awutan, dan blawh blawh blawh. 

Percuma... saya tetap tidak akan bisa membuat mereka mengerti. Mereka gak bakal pernah ngerti kalo salam hidup ini, saya bukanlah orang yang selalu punya banyak pilihan yang kesemuanya menyenangkan. Yang selalu saya punya adalah kesempatan buat mengiyakan atau menolak. Sekali lagi, hanya kesempatan dan bukan pilihan-pilihan. Saya jarang sekali bisa memilih. Sangat jarang. Jika saya mengiyakan suatu kesempatan, mungkin konsekuensinya akan sangat berpotensi jadi bahan olok-olokan orang-orang. Saya stressed kalo masukin ke hati apapun perkataan orang.

Sampe saat ini, saya belom pernah ketemu sama orang yang benar-benar mengerti apa yang saya lakukan, selain diri saya sendiri. Biarpun kayak gini, saya gak akan berhenti nerusin perjuangan saya. Saya gak butuh komentar orang, saya cuma butuh mereka yang selalu menyemangati. Dan saya yakin, gak ada satu hal pun yang sia-sia. Saya yakin, bahwa hidup akan berubah, saya akan senang menikmati hasil dari apa yang udah saya kerjain selama ini.

Semoga Alloh selalu ada dalam hati kita :')

Pipit

Lebaran Is Coming !!!! ^^

Wawhh! Lebaran is an inch ahead :) I can't wait to celebrate that with my loved ones. Wearing new clothes and gathering with family are other lovely things I can get from Lebaran. 

Even though Lebaran is still tomorrow, I've got some texts from friends. Some of the texts, I ignore because I think that's a common saying that is forwarded and sent again to other people. The rest, I read and I'm mesmerized by that saying. 

Here is my favorite saying:

Lebaran kurang 1 hari lagi. Aku ingin jadi orang pertama yang minta maaf :)

- Untuk kamu yang MENYAYANGI ku:

makasih telah membuatku menjadi orang yang begitu sempurna..

- Untuk kamu yang pernah MENYAKITI ku:

makasih telah mengajarkan arti kesabaran dan semoga kamu tidak akan pernah merasakan sakit yang aku rasakan..

- Untuk kamu yang pernah AKU SAKITI:

maafkanlah kekhilafanku.. aku hanyalah manusia yang jauh dari kesempurnaan..

- Untuk yang sekarang jadi SAHABAT ku:

mungkin kita memiliki banyak perbedaan, namun tak bisa dipungkiri lagi kalau aku sangan membutuhkanmu .. :p

MINAL AIDIN WAL FAIZIN YA.. MOHON MAAF LAHIR DA BATHIN.. SELAMAT HARI RAYA IDUL FITRI 1432 H, mizz you..

Hahaha, don't you think that the text above is so cool??! I love that so much !! I got that from my best friend/sister/godparent who is always there for me to listen, to give advices, to cheer me up, to comfort me, and even to share woman's secrets hihihi. She is Mbak Anggita. I love our relationship. I don't exaggerate, but this is exactly the most fascinating friendship I've ever had in this globe. 

Well, I don't send any saying yet to my friend, and perhaps I won't hehehe It's just too troublesome :) Sometimes, I think that I forgive all people's mistake. Don't care whether they forgive me or not. I'm simple, that's it!

Anyways, I'm gonna clean up my own room today ^^ Have a blessed day y'all !!! 

Pipit

Fatigued

Pheeewwhh !!!! Terribly need to have a long sigh, take a deep breath and let all my burden go. You know, this is the only night I can stay at home. My usual activity is working from 7 till 9 pm everyday, except Sundays. Oh God, it's nice to be in my room and writing on my blog while snacking hehehe. Perfectly lovely !!!!

I'm not fit yet after catching a very fucking cold since last week. How I hate rainy nose and sore throat!! It feels so terrible and irritating. Unfortunately, it got to be worse because I didn't have enough time for taking a rest. Working, working, and working. That's it! Actually I really need an off day for taking a rest, but it's pretty impossible because I'm working in a radio station. You know, uh? 

Lately, I've been thinking about my schedule. Really surprised to know that I have no holiday at all even on Lebaran day. This is insane, right? Sometimes, being loyal to your company is not always good. Yea, I'm a kind of loyal employee. I rarely complain about the schedule given to me, some of my partners often complain though. They complain if the given schedule doesn't suit them, surely without considering others. So, I've been observing that my boss doesn't really like to get a fuss. He prefers to give a little working time to my partners that usually complain and he gives me so much working time vice versa because I rarely complain about the schedule. Well, I always say that I won't complain if I can do that, but.. if it turns to be irrational, it's not fair!

From that case, I learn that sometimes I don't really need to be loyal if I'm treated unfairly. I got to say no, if others are able to say so. Moreover, my current boss doesn't seem very good at leading my company. He often makes wrong decisions and most of his reasons why he does this and that are not reasonable enough.

Anyway, my body feels going into pieces now. Never felt this exhausted before. But hey, it's always nice to fight for life and always stay strong. At least, I'm accustomed to be exhausted when someday, my life magically turns to be completely lovely hahaha. See y!

Pipit

Sometimes, Money Can Buy Happiness

"Why is everybody so obsessed? Money can't buy happiness."

Have you ever heard that lyrics? Yea, that's Jessie J's song, Price Tag. I love that song. The song is just about the people that worship money. Well, at least something like that. At first, I agree with the statement that money cannot buy happiness but here I come to one part of my life that has proven me wrong. Money exactly can buy happiness, sometimes. Let me argue :)

I am on the fifth semester of an undergraduate program in a private university in Magelang. I finance the tuition by myself and I work for that. To be frank, it's never easy to do both, to think about both, and to get both staying on the right track. Every time the pay day comes, I get dizzy. Hahaha, normally. I just always didn't have enough money to pay that, so I had to ask for a dispensation until I find that it magically turns into some millions rupiah. Oh my, I should ask for other dispensations over and over again. That was happening during 4 semesters. And you know, I'm famous as a dispensation princess :/ too bad.

Until, today, literally. I found that there's no space again for me to ask for dispensation. Just so you know, the university is still on process to be a state university, so there are many changes that will be compulsory firmly. One of the changes is about the dispensation. Many students, including me, are surprised about this decision. We are not allowed to ask for dispensation more than the tuition of a half semester, whereas, I still have about three millions rupiah that I haven't paid yet. Then, if I wanna continue my study, I must pay that fucking three millions rupiah. It gets me completely confused. Many of my friends feel the same.

In this case, I can't entirely blame the university. I honestly feel that actually, I should blame myself for being irresponsible about the tuition. And now, I have no clue what to do. I've been thinking how to solve this, but everything is still in blur. Meanwhile, my mind is also bothered by the thought about money.

Don't you frankly think that money, sometimes, can buy happiness? Please be honest. Sorry, I don't agree with you, Jessie J. Well, I must say that hypocrites won't admit my opinion. Yea, money is the only thing that is dominating the world. It's also the number one thing that people obsessed about. Come on, all people in this world are very busy earning money for living. Yet, they sacrifice so many things, such as their time, their family, their energy, their sanity, and even their honesty or to make it simple, they sacrifice everything they have (good and bad things) only to get money. Uhm.. It doesn't mean that I don't agree with the statement: Having so much money can't guarantee we'll always be happy. Don't get me wrong, of course I agree as well. But at least, the can indulge themselves by using the money they have and it will be easier for them to be happy and forget their problems by spending the money. If you say that they can spend it for doing bad things, that depends on them. Are they mature enough to use the money? It's just a matter of maturity.

So... as a girl that doesn't come from a rich family, I do know how it feels to be in trouble because of having no money. This is not the first time. I just need to be mature to see what I've been striving suddenly ends up. Well, that isn't what I want of course, that's just because I have no choice even though I've been looking for the solution. Sorry to say, in this case, I despise money.

Pipit

I'm Not Such A Fool :)

Do you believe in karma? Frankly, I do. Actually I just believe that whatever we did in the past time, there will be something that we get as a consequence. Well, I'm not going to explain about such a thing that actually depends on individual thought.

When I was on the last grade of Senior High School, to be honest, I was very stupid about boys. I just fell in love with some boys but never had any courage to express my feeling. You know how painful something like that is, huh? I felt that I was a stupid and even ugly girl that wasn't appealing at all. Moreover, studying was the number one goal that I was obsessed about. So... boys are not important for me. But, in 2007, something that really amazing happened. Something that people usually call as "falling in love". That was the very first time I knew how it feels to be loved by someone that I love too. What's funny about that is that I fell in love with my neighbor. Uuuh, too bad, right? But not too bad because the boy was very handsome for me hahahaha. He had a baby face and it was completely cute. Not to mention, he's a bit bad. Don't know why, I always think that bad boys are just awesome. All right, I must say that the boy was the person who start to approach me first. He just started to care about me and texted me very often. From that message, he indirectly expressed that he fell in love with me. I didn't fall in love with him at first, buy heeey man, could you just imagine how hard it is to ignore such a sweet boy??!!? He's just too mesmerizing :'D

Talking about falling in love, by the way I'd never believed in people common saying that when we're falling in love, there will be decreasing appetite, gigantic happiness, and uncontrolled thought. Okay, the boy proved me wrong. Oh my, I was feeling that kind of fucking feelings for about a week. So crazy !! Then I always believe after.

At that time, of course I was extremely happy. Deep inside, I was so proud of having a very cute boy as my first love hahaha. We went to some places, to his friends' houses and sometimes we spent the time only at home. On the first week, everything seemed to be so great, but on the second week, he started to be a little bit strange, moreover his behavior. I was having no clues about that. Until one night, after we'd been together for a month, he briefly confessed that he's ashamed of having a relationship with me. Admitting that he was afraid about what would our neighbors say about us, about our closeness. Then he decided to end up the relationship and everything was done.

You know, it hurt me like hell !!!! How could he think about the neighbors without thinking about what I exactly fell. It's insane that he preferred to leave me and hurt me after he drove me crazy only because he's ashamed of what our neighbors would say. He's just a devil. A very much bad devil. But well, I had no option, all I could do was just accepting what he wanted and of course crying out loud. Let me say that this was also the very first time my heart was broken. The very first time I'm played. It totally sucked. And it's damn bad to realize that I was living my daily life on the last grade of school suffering heartaches. I didn't even think about the fucking final exam. I was mentally hopeless.

For heaven sake, I'd never thought that it would affect too much to my life. I'm stupid that I could not forget him. I always hoped that he would come back to me, said sorry for hurting me, and asked me to be his girlfriend, again. But well, let me say that I was just too disgustingly imaginative. That never happened, but I was still staying at that feeling for almost two years. I never stopped looking for information about him. During two years, he dated many girls without caring this poor girl :'(

Fortunately, the illumination eventually came in 2009. I was starting my new activities as a student in a university. I met many people that brought me to the new chapter of my life. I dated some boys hahaha and I was starting to forget about my ex. It was very great time for me to heal my heartaches slowly. Some boys tried to approach me and they just made me feel more confident and worth it. I was not the ugly and stupid girl anymore, I said to myself too confidently. Here I came to change my life.

Nevertheless, my love life didn't go so well. Sometimes I played someone's heart :D and sometimes I'm played again. But I didn't think too much about that and still believed that I would find my prince charming at the right time. Hell yeah, I finally found him. He's my current boyfriend and we've been being together for 16 months. Yea, tomorrow will be literally our anniversary. I'm so happy to have him. He's the most sincere boy that I've ever met in my life. Don't get me wrong, he's handsome and sweet as well. I get to be so fortunate as his girlfriend :')

Hmm... but I smell something infuriating lately. My ex or just say my first boy has been texting me these past two days. I hate that he used the ":*" when he texted me. It's like he's trying to approach me again. No no, I just want to still be pally to him and all of my ex-boys as well. And I don't like to know that he compares it as a signal that I still love him. No way !!! I'm not stupid about boys anymore. Being with you will get me to the worst dramas and heartaches ever !!! I cannot stand that at all.

I promise that I will currently keep my relationship with my current boy well. We're happy couple. Many of my friends are envious to our relationship. And I'm so proud of having my current boy. Hopefully, he'd be the last boy that bring me to an endless happy life. Amin. Hahaha... it's just too long blog post, isn't it ??? So, bye for now.

Love,

Pipit ^^

Hi, I'm A Drama Queen !

I hate when it doesn't work both ways.

Saya sangat mengerti kalo pacaran itu gak selalu mudah, gak selalu enak, gak selalu menyenangkan. Malahan bisa dibilang, yang namanya makan ati udah jadi menu wajib sehari-hari. Apalagi kalo pacarannya sama saya yang notabene adalah seorang Drama Queen. Perasaan saya itu sensitifnya ampun-ampunan. Ditambah lagi karena saya orangnya detail dan sangat peka. Udah deh, kalo nyangkut soal hati langsung ngenes sendiri.

Prinsip yang saya ajukan ke pacar adalah soal komunikasi dan privasi. Tentang komunikasi, jelas saya selalu ingin komunikasi lancar dan pastinya berjalan dua arah. Ketika ada sesuatu yang penting, segeralah sampaikan. Terlebih jika itu masalah yang menyangkut hubungan kita. Korban hati bakal berjatuhan kalo sampai gak dikomunikasikan dan dicari solusinya dengan segera. Saya juga cukup percaya kalo kebanyakan hubungan, entah pertemanan, hubungan kerja, dan bahkan pacaran, sering jadi berantakan hanya karena satu hal miscommunication. Gak cuman satu dua kali aja saya ngalamin hal itu, belajar dari orang-orang di sekitar pun ternyata mereka mengalami hal yang sama. Jadi, komunikasi udah jadi kebutuhan yang harus disiapkan sebelum memutuskan menjalin sebuah hubungan.

Sementara itu, yang kedua adalah privasi. Kalo yang satu ini sih sebenernya saya ragu apakah orang lain setuju sama saya ato enggak. Bisa dibilang, saya sangat giat menjaga privasi hubungan pacaran saya. Lebih-lebih kalo itu soal hal buruk yang saya temuin dalam hubungan pacaran saya. Bisa jadi ada masalah, atau kejelekan sifat pasangan, ato hal lain yang bisa disebut aib. Gak penting banget kan orang lain tau aib seseorang dan pacarnya sendiri yang mengumbar ?!! Sangat gak penting ! Buat saya, cukuplah orang tau kabar bahagia aja dari hubungan pacaran saya. Cukuplah mereka tau bahwa saya dan pacar baik-baik saja. Saya ingin hubungan pacaran saya menginspirasi mereka, membuat mereka bangga sama saya dan pacar, menjadi contoh yang baik, bukan menjadi bahan gosip mereka karena saya dan pacar punya kejelekan yang sebenernya masih simpang siur. Oke, anggap aja saya berlebihan. Tapi bagi saya itu sangat penting. Apalagi jaman sekarang situs jejaring sosial udah semakin vulgar. Hampir semua orang punya kebiasaan mengemberkan privasinya sendiri di berbagai macam situs jejaring sosial. 

Nah... saya paling sebel sama yang satu ini. Sama kebiasaan seseorang, entah teman, pacar, rekan kerja, ato bahkan sodara sekalipun yang lebih milih nyampein keberatan atau ketidaksetujuan sama saya di facebook. Hello ???? ngomong langsung gak bisa ya ??? Masa iya malah lebih seneng ngomognya sama orang lain, yang gak kenal pula ! ckckck... dipikir masalah bisa selese ??? Orang gak waras aja ngerti banget jawabannya. Kadang kita gak mikir kalo dengan mendeklamasikan status di FB, sama aja kita membuka aib orang dan membentuk stereotype buruk tentang orang tersebut. Ya, manusia emang tempatnya salah dan lupa, tapi gak perlu diproklamirkan ke seluruh dunia juga kan?!

Paling benci juga kalo saya, di satu sisi, mati-matian menutup-nutupi, sementara di sisi lain, semuanya diumbar habis-habisan secara jelas dan terang. Phew... ! Itulah yang saya gak suka dari situs jejaring sosial. Semua orang berubah jadi gila perhatian, gila anggapan, gila tanggapan, padahal kenal sama orangnya aja enggak. Jadi, pentingnya apa ???? Nothing !

Oke, post kali ini saya tulis sambil emosi hehehe. Tapi cukup bersyukur juga sih, soalnya gara-gara emosi, saya jadi ada tindakan buat nulis lagi, kalo gak ya janji hanyalah tinggal janji hehehe.

Bye,

Pipit

A Sudden Passion

Hi, it's nice to have a new blog !! Gak tau kenapa nih tiba-tiba pengen nulis aja. Sebenernya sih saya udah demen banget nulis dari kapan ya.. emmm dua tahun lalu kali ya. Pokoknya jaman-jaman FB lagi hebring-hebringnya dan saya suka banget nulis di note. Beberapa friends di FB baca note saya dan berkomentar kalo tulisan saya cukup #ahem bagus. Hihihi. Berawal dari pujian itulah, saya jadi makin semangat nulis.

Sebenernya tujuan saya nulis bukan buat jadi penulis, ato bahkan buat dapet pujian dari orang lain. Ah, saya gak gila pujian. Ini lebih ke kepuasan diri yang bisa saya dapat dari menulis. Gak tau kenapa ya, kadang saya jauh lebih seneng ketak-ketik keyboard buat mengekspresikan pikiran dan perasaan ketimbang harus berpanjang lebar menggambleh di depan seseorang. Ya... gak selalu gitu juga sih, tapi kurang lebih seperti itu lah. Setuju aja deh ... #maksa

Anyway, frankly saya kadang seneng baca tulisan saya sendiri. Malahan pernah sampe terkagum-kagum *holoh* dan heran banget kok saya bisa nulis kayak gitu ya. Hahaha. Lewat tulisan-tulisan inilah saya bisa menyimpan semua hal berkaitan sama perasaan dan pikiran yang penting (buat saya) karena bisa saya jadikan renungan. Hehehe. So, start from now, I promise I wanna be industrious in writing on my blog. 

Hey, don't you notice that finally I have my official blog?!! Hehehe. Saya gak perlu punya banyak pembaca. Gak ada pembaca pun tak masalah. Kedengaran bo.ong banget ya ?? Pokoknya saya cuma pengen 'menikmati' blog saya ini secara pribadi dan mungkin akan memaksa pacar buat ikut 'menikmati' sih hehehe.

Oya, sempet bingung juga sih milih Blog Title nya. Lama banget nih milih kata-katanya. Sampe kepala saya keluar asapnya #alay. Cuman akhirnya ketemu juga judul blog yang menurut saya cukup keren ini *puih*. The Little Observer. Hmm... cuma berbekal dari pengamatan diri sendiri kalo ternyata saya sangat suka mengamati. Apapun itu. Bisa jadi saya suka mengamati pacar, teman, sekolah, dosen, keadaan, situasi, atau mungkin diri sendiri. Saya termasuk orang yang detil dan spontan. Kapanpun dan dimanapun saya bisa menyimpulkan sesuatu dan mengambil keputusan. Cukup bangga juga sih punya sifat kayak gini. Lewat mengamati saya jadi bisa lebih deket sama siapapun karena sedikit banyak bisa tau karakter seseorang. Besides that, alesan saya milih judul ini, bisa jadi karena isi dari blog ini adalah seputar pengamatan-pengamatan saya tentang lingkungan di sekitar saya, kehidupan orang-orang terdekat, dan kehidupan saya sendiri.

Cukup dulu deh ya prakatanya.. hihihi. Moga saya bisa berbagi dan menginspirasi, paling gak menginspirasi diri saya sendiri. Kedengeran kasihan banget ya kalimat barusan. Hahahaha. Have a good day, pals !