Crying

What do you think about crying?
Do you think it shows insecurity, weakness or defeat?

Well, I don't think so..
For me, crying is healing..
I do feel that crying is the perfect expression of shouting my feeling..
Sometimes, I feel a thing that I can't verbally say..
Sometimes, I feel a thing that can't be represented by words at all..
Something, I feel a thing that is difficult to express..
When it comes to such a circumstance, all I always do is just.. crying..
It can also be about both sadness and happiness..

If somebody would like to kindly count how many times I've cried in my whole life,
I bet it must be more than the number of my strands of my hair..

Don't ever blame me just because I cry very often..
It doesn't always mean that I'm miserable..
It just means I have no clue about what the more perfect expression than crying is..

An Interesting Assignment

Today isn't my off day, but I just had lots of time to do some of my favorite things. I just watched three films that inspire me much. Once I'd done watching those films, I did my writing assignment. It must be submitted tomorrow. Well, I just like when it comes to writing assignments. It gives me a great way to say my thought in written forms. This week, I had to make a paragraph of my personal arguments about anything. Here is what I wrote for my assignment: 

Smoking is not Good

I just do not understand why people like smoking. Seriously, I do not really see that there is any advantage of doing such a thing. Well, some of them may argue that it shows they are mature. It might be true, but doing such a think means that the way they think is not mature though. I believe that there is nothing good about smoking. First, it is clearly a waste of money. Cigarettes are not cheap. Everybody must know it. Then, it is also dangerous for someone's health. Experts have proven that smoking causes lung cancer. It is even typed clearly all in capital on the pack of cigarettes. So, from my personal point of view, it does not make any sense at all to buy something pricey that is dangerous for your health. Not to mention, maturity is not something to do with smoking, it is about how we think sensibly about ourselves and our lives.

That's what I wrote. I'm waiting for other interesting assignments. I don't even care if I'm overwhelmed by all my assignments when all of them are interesting :D

English Debate Society

Woohoo! Today is perfectly a splendid day! This morning, my friends and I had a presentation about English Debate Society (EDS) in front of the third semester students. Don't know why I was so excited to do it. I had to talk a lot and persuade as many as possible students to join our society. One part that I like the most of the presentation is when I had to tell my own experience of being a member of EDS. It's just because I'm the real evidence that EDS is good for them. Well, this is what I told to them:

"I used to be so bad in English. I was even very shy to sing my thought out in front of the class although I'm actually such a critical student. Joining EDS was so scary at first that I met many people that were very fluent speaking English, I thought. I was not confident at all. Everytime they asked me to speak, all I did was only refusing. Yet, I don't know when it literally happened, but I magically turned to be gradually so much better in English. Moreover, I turned to be more confident to speak in front of the class. Well, I'm still nervous when I have to speak in English in front of many people now, but I'm also able to handle this feeling pretty well. Now, you can see that I can speak English even though I still make some mistakes. It really doesn't matter at all because in EDS we have so many friends that will gladly help us, evaluate our speaking skill, support each other, encourage mentally, and most importantly, we learn to speak in English together. EDS truly affects me a lot."

 That's what I said to them and that's what I honestly feel. My friend, Ali, even told them that by joining EDS, there will be so many advantages we get, including money $_$ hahaha... He took some of my experiences as the examples. I was asked to be the MC of Magelang Anniversary Celebration Party and I had to use English. He also said that I was also asked to be the moderator of a workshop held by U.S Embassy. And the guest was an American Independent Movie Director, Mustava Davis. 

Oh my, I was touched to know that they notice my achievements. Before having such a presentation, I don't think too deeply about EDS effects to me, but now, I frankly admit that it really affects me. Oh yea, EDS also affects me psychologically that I don't want to be worse in English than my friends. It makes me believe that I can speak English well through studying English harder. 

Okay, I promise I will maintain EDS like mad :D Being a part of it is such an honor for me. Hopefully, those who have decided to join us can also get advantages that I've got. Wish me had enough time to join it regularly! And people, please keep the inspiration going !!!!!! ;))))

I'm in Love

"When I'm loved by the boy that I love, it gives me the best feeling."

I'm in a good mood today. Starting the day by going to the office at 5 a.m and going back home at 6 a.m then I was having fun with my stuff on the internet. Just so you know, I love to browse through the internet and look for good articles. I'm obsessed to read as much as possible writings. That's the way how I learn English easily and interestingly.

After spending four hours in front of the computer, I decided to take a nap. But suddenly, my man came to my house. Of course, I can't (and actually won't ever) ignore him. Yesterday I didn't meet him at all, so I had been overwhelmed by the feeling that I really missed him. As usual, he never fails to comfort me with his jokes and his innocent face. How I love both !!!

Until I started to have a conversation about my school financial problem. It hasn't been solved yet and I'm depressed about that. I was out of control telling him what I was deeply feeling. He listened and stared at me. I know he didn't even miss a word at all. When it was over, he started to help me looking for a solution. He said that I'm too obsessed about money and it's not good for me. Okay, we do need money, of course. But when we are too obsessed, it will only drive us to a disappointment because this is not our duty to earn money. He meant that what humans have to do is just striving and praying for the best, that's all! He also said that I have to be positive in seeing something. He's been thinking that I've tended to be too negative and pessimistic. And I got to start to change that. He teaches me to be more positive and grateful.

Don't know why I feel like I'm in love with him again. He doesn't talk too much, but he knows when he should talk and what he should talk about. This is what I had not got from my ex-men, the ability to save me, comfort me, cherish me, and simply love me. He might be not very intelligent, but he's very much sincere and kindhearted. Ow yea, and he's the only boy that makes me change my mind about boy. Happiness doesn't always come from having a clever boy (as I've hoped to date a clever boy), but it's everywhere. Even it's hidden behind ugliness, stupidity, and imperfection.

Love xx :*

Mas Bowo :')

Mumpung punya waktu setengah jam sebelum berangkat kuliah lagi, saya mau nulis cerita tentang Mas Bowo. Bukan, bukan! Bukan pacar saya, pacar saya masih tetep Parjia :) Mas Bowo itu adalah office boy di tempat saya kerja. Emang sih orangnya gak ganteng, tapi saya terkagum-kagum sama sifatnya yang luar biasa ikhlas.

Pernah ngebayangin jadi seorang office boy? Dulu saya pernah sih, tapi sebatas ngebayangin baju yang saya pake kalo saya jadi office girl dan bayangin saya lagi nguras bak mandi dan nungging-nungging gosok WC. Tapi ternyata, abis ketemu sama Mas Bowo, saya bisa mikir hal lain tetang office boy.

Mungkin kerjaan jadi office boy itu kedengerannya remeh temeh, tapi justru ini adalah kerjaan yang sangat berat. Selain bersih-bersih kantor, tiap harinya Mas Bowo musti disuruh-suruh buat ngelakuin apapun. Misalnya buat nganterin surat ke klien, beliin makanan buat bos, nagih uang ke klien, dan banyak lagi. Repot dan padat. Bahkan, dia kadang disuruh-suruh sama bagian SSO (Sales Service Officer) buat ngelakuin hal-hal yang menurut saya guendheng! Misal, jemput si SSO di TK tempat anaknya sekolah, nganterin si SSO keriting bulu mata, bahkan nemenin di SSO lepas KB spiralnya -_- Ckck, kejamnya dunia! Apalagi dengan cara nyuruhnya yang sangat kelewatan dan menyakitkan, Mas Bowo tetep mau ngejalalin :'( Hebat sekali. Saya pasti uda kemas-kemas dan ngundurin diri kalo saya jadi Mas Bowo.

Saya ngerasa, salah satu sifat yang saya punya adalah keinginan buat gak pengen disuruh-suruh. Saya rasa semua manusia juga kayak gitu. Mana ada coba orang yang mau dikacungin, disuruh-suruh pake nada tinggi dan diksi yang sangat tak berbudaya dan tak santus?! Saya, jujur, OGAH!! Jadi bener kan, Mas Bowo itu hebat. Dia rela mengesampingkan sifat dasar (ego) nya buat gak disuruh-suruh cuma demi memuaskan orang lain. Mas Bowo rela ngelakuin apa yang orang lain pengen, padahal mungkin dia gak pengen ngelakuin hal itu. Padahal gak cuma satu dua kali saya denger si SSO ngata-ngatain Mas Bowo dibelakang dengan sebutan "kacung" :'( It sounds so heartbreaking :'( Pernah sesekali saya iseng tanya soal perasaan Mas Bowo selama jadi office boy, dan jawabannya dia bahagia. Biarpun saya tau dia gak 100% jujur. Tapi saya sangat menghargai rasa syukurnya dan penghargaan dia akan pentingnya sebuah pekerjaan.

Sejak itulah saya berniat sedikit meringankan beban Mas Bowo. Saya sama sekali gak pernah nyuruh-nyuruh dia, saya cuci sendiri piring, gelas, dan sendok sehabis saya pakai, saya bersihkan sendal biar gak mengotori lantai, dan beberapa hal kecil lain yang saya niatkan buat ngurangin bebannya Mas Bowo. Mungkin gak seberapa sih, tapi saya seneng bisa punya kesadaran dan empati tentang betapa beratnya jadi seorang Mas Bowo. Dan saya gak akan pernah meremehkan dia. Semoga semuanya juga kayak gitu.

Anyway, my boss just lent me a book. It's the autobiography of David Beckham. Nice to know that it uses English, so I can get so many more vocabularies!! I'm just so excited about this book. Gonna read it soon and I will write about it on my blog once I'm done reading. Bye !!! :*

Putting My Thought into It :)

Yay!!! I will proudly say that this week is actually assignments week. Well, last Sunday was my latest off day. Don't know if I'm lucky or not to spend that day doing my assignments. But, one of the assignments is truly interesting !!!!! I had to make an essay about anything. I love to write and to put my thought into it. So, this is for you guys to read :) My writing assignment! Thank you in advance :) Have a frigging great day !!!!

Teenagers Who are Working while Studying  are the Independent and Responsible Ones

Nowadays, education is considered important for everyone. I personally think that being a well-educated person will bring us to a mental satisfaction and make us respectable. There are also many people fighting for getting adequate education in their life.   

As a teenager, I must honestly say that I do anything for my education. Even though I do not come from a family that is financially comfortable, I can still go to university by working and earning money by myself to pay my school tuition. Doing both working and studying gives me such a satisfaction that I cannot scientifically explain how it really feels. Nevertheless, it makes me feel independent and responsible.

How can teenagers be independent by working and studying at the same time? Of course because they earn money by themselves and most of them use the money they get for paying their school tuition and all of the costs of living. Then, how can teenagers be responsible by doing  it? It is slightly crucial!

Many teenagers say that it is very difficult to work when we are still studying. Moreover, they say that those who do both will not be focused. They also argue that by doing both activities at the same time, they will not get maximum results of each thing that they do.

I am one of the teenagers who work and study at the same time for paying my tuition and I firmly disagree with the statements above. Okay, they might say those satements because they have so many choices about education, but what about those who have no choice? Well, indeed it is very difficult to go to office and campus everyday and have a very little time for taking a rest or even for doing the assignments at home, but it does not mean it is impossible to do that. As a saying goes “Nothing is Impossible in This Life”, I have already proven it is so possible! It maybe totally hard and tiring in the beginning but as the time goes by, it is very interesting yet advantageous for sure.

There are many advantages that I get from it. One of them is being a responsible teenager. Teenagers who work will know how it feels to earn money for living, so that they will know how to wisely use it as well. They will also learn managing their time well, be on time and make every minute in their life useful. It drives them to have a better time management skills than those who are only studying and have lots of leisure time. Surprisingly, it makes them get better grades because of their regular time of studying.  It shows that they are also responsible as a student without ignoring the role as an employee.

The need of education seems to be increasing today, but not all teenagers can fulfill it because of financial factors. In fact, there are so many ways to solve it. Working while studying can be a good alternative solution. If they want to study, they can do it. As long as one has great belief and passion in doing this, I do not think it will be impossible. They will gradually get many advantages vice versa. It will also absolutely nice to know that Indonesian teenagers are independent and responsible for their lives and their education.

Vice Versa

"Manisnya hidup akan terasa setelah lelah berjuang."

Saya beneran lupa siapa yang nulis quote itu, tapi saya selalu ingat pesan yang tersimpan di dalamya. Jelas saya sangat setuju dengan quote itu, tapi gak sedikit juga sih dari mereka yang tidak berjuang dan tampak lebih senang, hidupnya pun jauh lebih manis.

Akhir-akhir ini, saya emang lagi bener-bener dipenjara sama tugas kuliah yang tidak sewajar biasanya. Bisa dibilang gak ada mata kuliah yang gak ada tugasnya. Iya iya, saya rada lebay. Jadi pastinya dari 10 mata kuliah yang saya ambil, cuma 3 mata kuliah yang belom ngasih tugas sejauh ini. Sementara 7 mata kuliah lain, dari awal semseter 5 dimulai, tugas tak henti-hentinya bergentayangan -_-

Sungguh, saya ngerasa semester 5 ini akan sangat berat dan melelahkan. Baru juga 3 minggu berlalu, tapi banyak sekali hal yang udah saya alami. Akhir-akhir ini saya sering banget begadang buat nyelesein tugas yang deadline nya rata-rata cuma seminggu. Bener-bener. Gara-gara begadang, saya sering ngerasa puyeng banget di kepala, kayak dikemplang pake monitor komputer layar cembung. Saya juga harus sangat berhemat karena jadwal kuliah dan kerja yang terselip-selip satu sama lain. Kerja-kuliah-kerja-kuliah-pulang-kerja-pulang. Begitulah setiap hari. Karena ini, saya harus lebih sering berjalan dari tempat kerja ke kampus. Mmm... saya gak tau pasti jaraknya, tapi saya janji, suatu saat nanti, saya akan mengihitung berapa langkah kaki yang harus saya produksi (???) selama perjalanan dari tempat kerja menuju kantor *toyor*. Soal kebiasaan harus jalan, ada beberapa hal yang membuat saya sedih.

Pada dasarnya, saya sangat suka jalan kaki. Pertama karena hemat biaya, kedua karena jalan kaki itu rasanya nyenengin. Pas jalan kaki sendirian, hal yang paling sering saya lakuin adalah berpikir tentang pencapaian dan kekurangan saya sekarang ini. Saya juga suka (dengan PDnya) ngerasa kalo setiap langkah kaki yang saya tempuh itu adalah langkah kaki yang muaranya itu LONDON :) Silahkan tertawa, saya gak mau bahas panjang lebar soal ini. Belom saatnya, sebenarnya :)

Namun, yang saya gak suka dari jalan kaki, kadang, saya harus jalan dibawah terik matahari di siang bolong. Panasnyaaaa... ampun-ampunan. Korbannya, kulit saya sekarang hitam se-legam-legamnya dan kering bersisik. Sebanyak apapun lotion yang saya teplok-teplokin di kulit, efeknya hampir gak keliatan. Tragis! Sangat tragis! Beberapa waktu lalu juga ada temen yang bilang, "Pit, makin item aja nih." Demi dunia dan akherat sodara-sodara, ini menyakitkan luar dalem. Nancep sampe ke palung hati, dan saya drop parah.

Saya sempet pengen berargumen tetang apa yang harus saya lalui dan apa yang harus saya lakukan sama dia. Biar dia bisa mikir dulu sebelum ngeluarin kata-kata menyebalkan sepanjang masa itu. Hkh. Tapi saya males. Berkali-kali saya paham kalo orang tuh gak bakalan bener-bener ngerti gimana rasanya sebelum tuh orang bener-bener ngejalalin. Saya cuma senyum. Jelas lah, senyum yang sangat amat dipaksakan! Parahnya, akhir-akhir ini saya juga sering menipu diri sendiri dengan mempertontonkan segala sesuatu yang berlawanan dengan hati saya. Sesuatu yang berarti sebaliknya. Apapun yang orang katakan tentang saya, saya senyum, biarpun saya sakit hati. Saya dikatain kurus, saya dikatain gosong, saya dikatain tonggos, saya dikatain gak rapi, saya dikatain awut-awutan, dan blawh blawh blawh. 

Percuma... saya tetap tidak akan bisa membuat mereka mengerti. Mereka gak bakal pernah ngerti kalo salam hidup ini, saya bukanlah orang yang selalu punya banyak pilihan yang kesemuanya menyenangkan. Yang selalu saya punya adalah kesempatan buat mengiyakan atau menolak. Sekali lagi, hanya kesempatan dan bukan pilihan-pilihan. Saya jarang sekali bisa memilih. Sangat jarang. Jika saya mengiyakan suatu kesempatan, mungkin konsekuensinya akan sangat berpotensi jadi bahan olok-olokan orang-orang. Saya stressed kalo masukin ke hati apapun perkataan orang.

Sampe saat ini, saya belom pernah ketemu sama orang yang benar-benar mengerti apa yang saya lakukan, selain diri saya sendiri. Biarpun kayak gini, saya gak akan berhenti nerusin perjuangan saya. Saya gak butuh komentar orang, saya cuma butuh mereka yang selalu menyemangati. Dan saya yakin, gak ada satu hal pun yang sia-sia. Saya yakin, bahwa hidup akan berubah, saya akan senang menikmati hasil dari apa yang udah saya kerjain selama ini.

Semoga Alloh selalu ada dalam hati kita :')

Pipit