Do you believe in karma? Frankly, I do. Actually I just believe that whatever we did in the past time, there will be something that we get as a consequence. Well, I'm not going to explain about such a thing that actually depends on individual thought.
When I was on the last grade of Senior High School, to be honest, I was very stupid about boys. I just fell in love with some boys but never had any courage to express my feeling. You know how painful something like that is, huh? I felt that I was a stupid and even ugly girl that wasn't appealing at all. Moreover, studying was the number one goal that I was obsessed about. So... boys are not important for me. But, in 2007, something that really amazing happened. Something that people usually call as "falling in love". That was the very first time I knew how it feels to be loved by someone that I love too. What's funny about that is that I fell in love with my neighbor. Uuuh, too bad, right? But not too bad because the boy was very handsome for me hahahaha. He had a baby face and it was completely cute. Not to mention, he's a bit bad. Don't know why, I always think that bad boys are just awesome. All right, I must say that the boy was the person who start to approach me first. He just started to care about me and texted me very often. From that message, he indirectly expressed that he fell in love with me. I didn't fall in love with him at first, buy heeey man, could you just imagine how hard it is to ignore such a sweet boy??!!? He's just too mesmerizing :'D
Talking about falling in love, by the way I'd never believed in people common saying that when we're falling in love, there will be decreasing appetite, gigantic happiness, and uncontrolled thought. Okay, the boy proved me wrong. Oh my, I was feeling that kind of fucking feelings for about a week. So crazy !! Then I always believe after.
At that time, of course I was extremely happy. Deep inside, I was so proud of having a very cute boy as my first love hahaha. We went to some places, to his friends' houses and sometimes we spent the time only at home. On the first week, everything seemed to be so great, but on the second week, he started to be a little bit strange, moreover his behavior. I was having no clues about that. Until one night, after we'd been together for a month, he briefly confessed that he's ashamed of having a relationship with me. Admitting that he was afraid about what would our neighbors say about us, about our closeness. Then he decided to end up the relationship and everything was done.
You know, it hurt me like hell !!!! How could he think about the neighbors without thinking about what I exactly fell. It's insane that he preferred to leave me and hurt me after he drove me crazy only because he's ashamed of what our neighbors would say. He's just a devil. A very much bad devil. But well, I had no option, all I could do was just accepting what he wanted and of course crying out loud. Let me say that this was also the very first time my heart was broken. The very first time I'm played. It totally sucked. And it's damn bad to realize that I was living my daily life on the last grade of school suffering heartaches. I didn't even think about the fucking final exam. I was mentally hopeless.
For heaven sake, I'd never thought that it would affect too much to my life. I'm stupid that I could not forget him. I always hoped that he would come back to me, said sorry for hurting me, and asked me to be his girlfriend, again. But well, let me say that I was just too disgustingly imaginative. That never happened, but I was still staying at that feeling for almost two years. I never stopped looking for information about him. During two years, he dated many girls without caring this poor girl :'(
Fortunately, the illumination eventually came in 2009. I was starting my new activities as a student in a university. I met many people that brought me to the new chapter of my life. I dated some boys hahaha and I was starting to forget about my ex. It was very great time for me to heal my heartaches slowly. Some boys tried to approach me and they just made me feel more confident and worth it. I was not the ugly and stupid girl anymore, I said to myself too confidently. Here I came to change my life.
Nevertheless, my love life didn't go so well. Sometimes I played someone's heart :D and sometimes I'm played again. But I didn't think too much about that and still believed that I would find my prince charming at the right time. Hell yeah, I finally found him. He's my current boyfriend and we've been being together for 16 months. Yea, tomorrow will be literally our anniversary. I'm so happy to have him. He's the most sincere boy that I've ever met in my life. Don't get me wrong, he's handsome and sweet as well. I get to be so fortunate as his girlfriend :')
Hmm... but I smell something infuriating lately. My ex or just say my first boy has been texting me these past two days. I hate that he used the ":*" when he texted me. It's like he's trying to approach me again. No no, I just want to still be pally to him and all of my ex-boys as well. And I don't like to know that he compares it as a signal that I still love him. No way !!! I'm not stupid about boys anymore. Being with you will get me to the worst dramas and heartaches ever !!! I cannot stand that at all.
I promise that I will currently keep my relationship with my current boy well. We're happy couple. Many of my friends are envious to our relationship. And I'm so proud of having my current boy. Hopefully, he'd be the last boy that bring me to an endless happy life. Amin. Hahaha... it's just too long blog post, isn't it ??? So, bye for now.
Love,
Pipit ^^
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